Posted on October 1st, 2009 by Dan Scofield

In time for Clausen’s Heisman campaign, I present to you the faults of the very award he will be in contention for:

Mr. Heisman himself.

When you think about the Heisman trophy, what comes to mind first?

Some fans have no problem with the tradition in the bronze figurine, while others would go to great lengths to fix an award going in the wrong direction.

I will let it be known that I have officially joined the hate party on the bronze figure himself.

I view the Heisman as an irrelevant political award judged on six commandments that eliminate roughly 95 percent of the players before the ball is even put in play on opening weekend.

Here is why:

John W. Heisman

The first problem with the trophy itself is the man it was named after.

Mr. Heisman is a mysterious figure to most, but a legend in the college football world. A great and successful coach and an accomplished player at two Ivy League schools, he was also known for his bitterness and unsportsmanlike victories.

Most notably, the most lopsided victory in the history of the NCAA can be credited to Mr. Heisman himself. Up by 126 points at the half, the Georgia Tech coach was quoted as saying, “Who knows what they have up their sleeves?”.

As the clock hit zero, the scoreboard read Georgia Tech, 222, Cumberland College, 0.

Another trademark of Heisman was his sarcastic advice to opponent coaches after a victory.

Why don’t we just name the award after Steve Spurrier instead?

The Six Heisman-dents

To win the Heisman, one must follow the following guidelines. There are very few exceptions to these prerequisites for the best player in college football, also known as “the best player on the best team in college football”.

As much as I don’t believe in them, I present to you the six commandments:

1) The winner must be a quarterback, running back, or a multi-threat, hybrid athlete.

2) The winner must have some prior name recognition.

3) The winner must perform well on national television and/or in big games.

4) The winner must not be a player that’s numbers are obviously inflated due to his team’s system.

5) The winner must be:

• The top impact player on a national title contender, or-

• A consistent player over his career with above-averages statistics from a traditional power with a good record (BCS worthy).

To support the argument, the records of the recent winners of the award:

• A major exception to all of the above.

6) Most importantly, the winner must be likeable and worthy of a media “man crush”.

The Heisman Invitations: “Cool Crowd” Only

The award has gotten to a point where predicting the invitations sent out in December is easy for most.

The big three of college football, Tebow, McCoy, Bradford, all sat one, two, and three at the beginning of the season. I can’t give these guys enough praise after what they’ve done so far in their careers, so don’t feel as if I am downplaying their greatness-their great.

However, we all know that Tebow’s name plate from the last two years is waiting for him in a closet at the Downtown Athletic Club. He is a great quarterback on a great team, but what if he doesn’t put up superman numbers again? What if he misses a game or two because of his first concussion?

He will still be in the Big Apple.

What about Colt McCoy?

Another outstanding quarterback from an elite powerhouse, McCoy is being praised in almost every in-season Heisman ballot. However, look at the nation’s leaders in passing. Tony Pike, CaseKeenum, and Jimmy Clausen all sit behind McCoy, even after leaving the nation speechless.

However, it’s only fair McCoy gets his time to shine as he is the lone member of the trio without his chance on the podium. Atleast maybe in the eyes of the voters.

And then there is poor Sam Bradford.

Come to think of it, I’m sure they have special arm-rests for guys like him, so don’t even bother playing this season and save your energy for the presentation, Sam.

The voters are in love with the classic Letterman-jacket type. Seven of the nine Heisman winners this decade have been Caucasian quarterbacks from the elite programs of college football.

My argument can be backed up by many. To throw a few names around: Ty Detmer, Eric Crouch, and of course my favorite argument concerning the awful Heisman formula, Jason White.

On the other hand, I’ll throw another name at you: Pat White.

The only quarterback to ever win four straight bowl games (think about that for a second) wasn’t even invited to New York City. Not one time in those four years. Even as a die-hard domer, I would have given Brady Quinn’s spot, who lost big in his two BCS bowl appearances, to White in a second.

From the wise words of Marilyn Monroe, “Everyone is a superstar and deserves a chance to shine.”

Sadly enough, most of college football won’t even be given an opportunity to be in that spotlight.

Defense, anyone?

Although unfair to many other offensive players, specifically receivers and linemen, no one has it worse than the defensive side of the ball in regards to the award.

The side of the ball that wins games and championships continuously is left out of the argument for the “best” player in the nation.

A 21-year-old Wolverine from Fremont, OH, remains the only defensive-minded player to win the award to this day.

The fact that a player as legendary as Dick Butkus finished a disappointing third in his best year shows how difficult it is for adefensive player to win the Heisman.

Guys like A.J. Hawk, Brian Orakpo, and Glenn Dorsey are just some of the guys left out of consideration.

In fact, I will go as far as saying I will be happy if Eric Berry wins the Heisman this year. And if you disagree with me, do a quick search on YouTube and maybe you will see where I am coming from on my bold statement.

Final Argument

The faults have been stated and the arguments have been made. The Heisman just isn’t on the acceptable level it should be on, an unfortunate fact for the college football world.

The award will continue on the path of self-destruction if legitimacy is not brought back into the trophy.

ESPN will continue to glamorize the presentation and treat it as if it is the Nobel Peace Prize and some quarterbacks who are given the honor will eventually end up on the latest VH1 reality show or an athlete feature of “Where Are They Now?”

Joan Rivers could be assigned to the red carpet, interviewing the tuxedo-clad finalists and it wouldn’t seem out of place in the view of today’s Heisman.

Then there is the candidates themselves.

Tebow and McCoy may be deserving players this year. They will most likely find themselves sitting in the Club in the middle of December.

The problem is-that only covers roughly 10 percent of the relevant conversation of candidates deserving one of those same reserved seats.

Some of you may continue to support Mr. Heisman and his miniature, bronzed football player.

However, many more will choose to give their attention elsewhere in the college football world as long as the current Heisman formula is installed.

The Heisman Trophy Solution Plan

A quick solution is almost unimaginable in trying to fix what is broken here. It took many years to get going down a disappointing route, and it will take many years to return to the glory days of the trophy.

A few years of commitment to a solution could give the trophy it’s credentials back. Here are some starters:

• Define the award. Is it going to be handed out to the “best player on an elite team” or is it a MVP award? I’m not even really sure what the voters define it as, to be honest. By zoning in on a definition of the award, people would have fewer reasons to complain if they stick to it when voting.
• Decide who the voters should be. The voters should be the media in the press box at different games every week, covering all of college football. These are the guys that are at every big game, every rivalry game, and any meaningful game for that matter. There is no reason for retirees watching the same team every week to be voting for the Heisman winner.
• Connect with the past. One thing other sports have over college football is their connection with their traditions and past times. Hall of Fame inductions and old-timer’s games are just a few examples of this idea. The Heisman is one of, if not the, most-known awards in all of sports. With some help from other organization’s, the Heisman could be getting the recognition it deserves along with reminding the nation how much the award should mean.

*Thanks to rockytoptalk.com for their helpful Heisman statistics and tables.

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